Well Boys n Girls....I did it! I really did it. I asked her to have coffee with me one day...you know who I mean.....the former co-worker! She said yes....but.......and I kinda knew it would be a BIG but......it would be " Just as Friends "....I know what you're thinking......it did not come as a huge surprise did it....course not......I mean C'mon......me and her?!.......I'm a lot older....she....well....I don't think she is over her Ex......she must have fallen hard for him....I mean she told me she found some old voice mails he left for her months ago......who saves that kind of stuff?...I mean they were going out less than a year......I guess it takes all kinds.....in any case, might be having coffee this weekend.....even if it is just as friends.....still getting out there.....I have to relearn all the intricacies of being around women again....I have a lot to learn. The hardest part will be giving my trust again....that Boys n Girls will be the BIGGEST step of all......the way I feel right now is that almost all women are lying, deceitful, cheating skanks!......I could go on....but you know where I'm coming from!
I started jogging this morning........yes you heard correctly.......I was jogging! Now I have to start slowly.....so what I'm doing, at least for the first little while, is jog for a minute, walk for a minute, then repeat.......I did that for 4KM......I was soaked by the time I got back to my apartment!....but here's the kicker....I felt really really good......despite the aches and pains...LOL
So......in true fashion....I'm doing the same thing tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday!
Another week has started Boys n Girls, and yet I find myself wishing the time away. I can't wait for the 8th to get here, I'm so looking forward to this mini vacation......I need it in a big way, not only do I get to see my son after all this time, I actually get to spend some time away from it all....you never know, I might be on the lookout for another position....we'll just have to see what happens.
You know something? I almost did it today.....I almost said what was really on my mind.....I'm talking about my former co-worker...she really is on my mind alot these days...not sure if it's because I chat with her almost everyday...or.........I dunno.......maybe it's the fact that I can relate to her on more than a few levels....maybe it's because I miss having someone in my life.....I don't know if she has had the same feelings for me or not.....perhaps, and I know I've said it before, maybe I'm better off not knowing......if I did tell her.......it would make things very different between us...not sure I'd want that....besides, maybe I can just have her as a friend.....I dunno....it's all so fucking wierd.....I can pretty well assume that things between Linda and I have cooled......been a few days since we spoke....I just got the impression that she was not interested...oh well.....her loss!
Relationships are one of those things that will always keep me mystified....I mean how is it some work out so well and others just tank?! How is that two people can start off so very well and yet fast forward 10 years and whatever was there is now gone? I have to just shake my head on that one......is there really someone out there for everyone? How do you know if you've found your soulmate? What makes a soulmate? How do you define what characters make up a soulmate? Deep questions that require deep responses.....does anyone have the answers to those and other of life's mysteries? prolly not!
That's all for a while, might be back later!
Ciao for now.
You know something? I almost did it today.....I almost said what was really on my mind.....I'm talking about my former co-worker...she really is on my mind alot these days...not sure if it's because I chat with her almost everyday...or.........I dunno.......maybe it's the fact that I can relate to her on more than a few levels....maybe it's because I miss having someone in my life.....I don't know if she has had the same feelings for me or not.....perhaps, and I know I've said it before, maybe I'm better off not knowing......if I did tell her.......it would make things very different between us...not sure I'd want that....besides, maybe I can just have her as a friend.....I dunno....it's all so fucking wierd.....I can pretty well assume that things between Linda and I have cooled......been a few days since we spoke....I just got the impression that she was not interested...oh well.....her loss!
Relationships are one of those things that will always keep me mystified....I mean how is it some work out so well and others just tank?! How is that two people can start off so very well and yet fast forward 10 years and whatever was there is now gone? I have to just shake my head on that one......is there really someone out there for everyone? How do you know if you've found your soulmate? What makes a soulmate? How do you define what characters make up a soulmate? Deep questions that require deep responses.....does anyone have the answers to those and other of life's mysteries? prolly not!
That's all for a while, might be back later!
Ciao for now.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Too Funny!
This was too funny NOT to Post!
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.
Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver. than men with hair.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. .. . .they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!
Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man.
Still looking at your thumb, aren't you ?
My goal is to live forever. .......So far, so good!
The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.
Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver. than men with hair.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate. .. . .they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!
Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man.
Still looking at your thumb, aren't you ?
My goal is to live forever. .......So far, so good!
How about some Jokes?!
Okay Boys n Girls....time for some jokes....now some are clean and wholesome and some are just down right filthy...you've been warned.....hehehe...Evil laugh!
Beer Vs Vagina
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo... Call it a DRAW
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it One point to BEER
20. Beer with yeast in it still tastes rather nice. One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 11 VAGINA: 9
That's it! The matter is settled, the unfortunate yet tasty winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.
An extra point for BEER ((((((((sorry girls))))))))
The Nudist Club
A guy applied to join a nudist club.
"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune
with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "...count me in!"
So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path,
he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which
read the same thing, "Beware of Gays." He continued walking until he came to a small
clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground.
He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry... You've had two warnings!"
VERY TASTELESS AND NASTY Q's & A's
Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a Blow-job from Grandma have
in common ?
A. You don't look down.
Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.
Q. How are women and linoleum floors alike?
A. You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them
for the next 20 years.
Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
Q. What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo
Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
Q. What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market?
A. Good morning Girls
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.
Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. How many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?
A. One Post, two Globes, and many Times.
Q. What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A. Whore's fuck everyone at the party, Bitches fuck everyone at the
party except you.
Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It works by changing your blood type!!
Q. What do you call a truck full of dildos?
A. Toys for Twats
Q. How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
A. Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
A. Snowballs.
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?
A. None It should be open when she brings it to you.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
Q. Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Q. What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
A. All it takes is one prick and its all over.
Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A. Their shaky hands!
Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use some lubricant.
Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left
is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q. What's the definition of eternity?
A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.
Q. Why did God invent yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.
Q. Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A. He came home shit faced.
John and Jim
Siamese twins walk into a pub in Vancouver and park themselves on a bar
stool.
One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip.
I'm John, he's Jim.
Two Molson Canadian beers please'.
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation
while pouring the beers.
'Been on holiday yet, lads?'
'Off to England next month,' says John.
'We go to England every year and hire a car and drive for miles, don't we,
Jim?'
Jim agrees.
'Ah, England !' says the bartender. ' Wonderful country... the history, the
beer, the culture...'
'Nah, we don't like that British food or the beer,' says John. ?Hamburgers
& Molson?s beer, that's us, eh, Jim?
And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude.'
'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.
'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'
Irish Drunk
A bar is empty except for two patrons. One of them staggers over to the
other and says, "How's it going? Where you from?"
The other guy says "Ireland."
The first drunk says "That's cool! I'm from Ireland too! Let's have a
round for Ireland!" They both drink merrily.
Then the first guy says "So where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Dublin? Awesome! I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another round for
Dublin!" Once again, they both drink merrily.
Then the first guy asks, "So where did you go to school?"
"St. Mary's, class of '62" answers the other guy.
"Incredible! I graduated in '62 from St. Mary's, too! Let's have a
round for St. Mary's!" Once again, they suck down another round.
Just then, one of the bar regulars walks in and sits at the bar. He
asks the bartender, "So what's going on today?"
The bartender answers, "Nothing... The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Selfish Golfer
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his
round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie the second. On the
third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell
phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible
accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the
he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was
leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He
decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.
He ended up finishing all eighteen. He finished his round shooting a
personal best 61 shattering the club record by five strokes and beating
his previous best game by more than 10.
He was jubilant, then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed
to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about about
his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your
round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you
were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club
your wife has been languishing in the ICU! Its just as well you went
ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your
last! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care.
And you'll be her care giver!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.
The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more
than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?"
Bad Student
A kid comes home from school and his mother asks him, "How was school
son?" He replies, "It wasn't good at all Mom, I had sex with my
teacher." She blows up and tells him to go immediately to his room. His
father comes home and walks into his room to find he is looking at some
porno mags and says to his son, "You had sex with your teacher son?" Kid
replies, "Yeah it wasn't good." The father says, "Well your only 14
years old and you have done a good job. We'll go tomorrow and get that
new bike you have always wanted." They go the next day and get the bike.
Then the father asks him, "Do you want to ride it home or just put it in
the back of the truck?" The kid replies, "I better just put it in the
back of the truck." They get into the truck and the father asks his son,
"So why didn't you wanna ride it home?" The son tells him, "Because Mr.
Green got me in the butt pretty hard yesterday."
A collection of the many different types of Penises
The Excedrin Penis - it's ttthhhiiisss big
The Snickers Penis - It satisfies your craving
The Magnovox Penis - Smart.Very smart.
The Life-Call Penis - It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis - Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis - How many licks DOES it take...?
The M&M Penis - Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
The Lucky Charms Penis - They are magically delicious.
The Energizer Penis - It keeps going and going.
The Right Guard Penis - Anything less is uncivilized.
The Campbell's Soup Penis - Mmmm Mmmm good
The McDonald's Penis - Over 8 billion served.
The Tombstone Penis - What would you like on yours?
The Ragu Penis - Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Cobain Penis - It blows itself away.
The All-State Penis - You're in good hands.
The 7-Up Penis - The un-penis.
The Bud Lite Penis - Great taste, less filling.
The Barq's Penis - The one with bite.
The Beef Penis - It's what's for dinner.
The Transformer Penis - It's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler Penis - It makes mouths happy.
The Sega Penis - PENIS!
The Starburst Penis - The juice is loose.
The Timex Penis - Takes a licking and keeps on...
The Burger King Penis - It takes two hands to handle a whopper.
The Flintstones' Vitamins Penis - 10 million strong and growing.
The Wendy's Penis - Where's the beef?
The Lay's Penis - Betcha can't eat just one.
The Little Caesar's Penis - Penis!Penis!
The Mortal Combat Penis - Nothing can prepare you.
The Bounty Penis - The quicker picker-upper.
The Street Fighter II Penis - Matt, stop, you are too good at this.
The Domino's Pizza Penis - Delivers in 30 minutes or less.
The Rice Krispies Penis - What does your penis say to you?
The Extra Penis - Lasts an extra, extra, extra long time.
The Charmin Penis - Don't squeeze the penis!
The Beatles Penis - Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Oasis Penis - Thinks it is the Beatles penis.
The Windows '95 Penis - If you ask it to do too much, it will crash.
The Virginia Slims Penis - You've come a long way, baby.
The Secret Penis - Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.
The Micro Machines Penis - A whole world, in the palm of your hand.
The Sanka Penis - Good to the last drop.
The Payday Penis - It's almost totally nuts!
The Yellow Pages Penis - Let your fingers do the walking.
The Reese's Penis - How do you eat your penis?
The Beavis Penis - Look!It's changing colours!
The Sustecal Penis - More protein, less fat.
The Just For Men Penis - A sure thing for a natural look.
The Milk Penis - It does a body good.
The Taco Bell Penis - It runs for the border.
The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Penis - It's the adult thing to do.
The AOL Penis - It's so easy to use, no wonder it is #1.
The Pontiac Penis - Built for kicks, built for keeps!
The Psychic Penis - It knows you are coming before you do.
The Pinocchio Penis - The longer you lie, the more it grows.
The AMTRAK Penis - All Aboard
The Wendy's Penis - Hot and juicy
The Visa Penis - It's everywhere you wanna be
The Baskins-Robbins Penis - 31 flavors.
The Molson Penis - An honest penis makes its own friends.
The Vampire Lestat Penis - Drink from me and live forever.
The Highlander Penis - There can be only one.
Men's Rules
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
11. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what
mauve is.
15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine .
. . . Really.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as football or tanks.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22.Every dish can be improved with bacon.
23.Do not trust a man who calls the bathroom "the little boys room."
24.Women who sound sexy on the phone weigh 350 pounds.
25.No talking at the urinal.
26.A man may own exactly one pair of holiday-themed boxers.
27.Never date a woman whose father calls her "princess."
28.A PBS tote bag does not make you an intellectual.
29.The weirder the cell phone ring, the more annoying the person.
30.Real men don't dance.
The Parrot & the Underwear
Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church
to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a
big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house,
the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.
One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black." One of the nuns noticed
that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She
mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant
to believe that could be possible.
The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the
house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."
Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished!!. One of the nuns spoke
up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird."
Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should
wear any underwear under their vestments. Respecting their agreement,
next day they wore no underwear and proceeded to pass in front of the
parrot's house.
They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit
puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.
Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Bald, Curly!"
Rules of Sex
~ Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.
~ Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
~ Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
~ A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
~ It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
~ Don't say no, say maybe, say any old thing say come back in the spring but don't say no.
~ A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
~ Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
~ Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
~ Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant
Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - The last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could Immediately take the words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word... He knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the woman's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and
said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm
just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying
my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven
month -old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked
to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I
kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?'
'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
the smell was getting worse. Soooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you
have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, Bent over,
spread his cheeks, & yelled, 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? We had a
female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
were laughing so hard!
Beer Vs Vagina
1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work. One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful. One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying. One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit. One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances. I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer. One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer. One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc... with vagina you also have a choice, white, black, asian, hispanic, and eskimo... Call it a DRAW
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it One point to BEER
20. Beer with yeast in it still tastes rather nice. One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 11 VAGINA: 9
That's it! The matter is settled, the unfortunate yet tasty winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.
An extra point for BEER ((((((((sorry girls))))))))
The Nudist Club
A guy applied to join a nudist club.
"Exactly what do you do here?" he asked.
"It's quite simple," said the club secretary, "We take off all our clothes and commune
with nature." "Cool," said the guy, "...count me in!"
So he paid his membership fee, took off his gear and strolled off. As he walked along a path,
he saw a big sign which read, "Beware of Gays." A little further along he saw another sign which
read the same thing, "Beware of Gays." He continued walking until he came to a small
clearing which had a bronze plaque set in the ground.
He bent over to read the plaque and it said, "Sorry... You've had two warnings!"
VERY TASTELESS AND NASTY Q's & A's
Q. What does tightrope walking and getting a Blow-job from Grandma have
in common ?
A. You don't look down.
Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack.
Q. How are women and linoleum floors alike?
A. You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them
for the next 20 years.
Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
Q. What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo
Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
Q. What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market?
A. Good morning Girls
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a fridge?
A. A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out!
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one.
Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. How many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?
A. One Post, two Globes, and many Times.
Q. What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A. Whore's fuck everyone at the party, Bitches fuck everyone at the
party except you.
Q. Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?
A. It works by changing your blood type!!
Q. What do you call a truck full of dildos?
A. Toys for Twats
Q. How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
A. Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Q. What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
A. Snowballs.
Q. How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?
A. None It should be open when she brings it to you.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. Why did the woman cross the road?
A. Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
Q. Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Q. What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
A. All it takes is one prick and its all over.
Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
A. A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Q. What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A. $3.99 a minute.
Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A. Their shaky hands!
Q. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use some lubricant.
Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left
is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Q. What's the definition of eternity?
A. The time between when you cum and she leaves.
Q. Why did God invent yeast infection?
A. So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt.
Q. Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A. He came home shit faced.
John and Jim
Siamese twins walk into a pub in Vancouver and park themselves on a bar
stool.
One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip.
I'm John, he's Jim.
Two Molson Canadian beers please'.
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation
while pouring the beers.
'Been on holiday yet, lads?'
'Off to England next month,' says John.
'We go to England every year and hire a car and drive for miles, don't we,
Jim?'
Jim agrees.
'Ah, England !' says the bartender. ' Wonderful country... the history, the
beer, the culture...'
'Nah, we don't like that British food or the beer,' says John. ?Hamburgers
& Molson?s beer, that's us, eh, Jim?
And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude.'
'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.
'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'
Irish Drunk
A bar is empty except for two patrons. One of them staggers over to the
other and says, "How's it going? Where you from?"
The other guy says "Ireland."
The first drunk says "That's cool! I'm from Ireland too! Let's have a
round for Ireland!" They both drink merrily.
Then the first guy says "So where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin."
"Dublin? Awesome! I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another round for
Dublin!" Once again, they both drink merrily.
Then the first guy asks, "So where did you go to school?"
"St. Mary's, class of '62" answers the other guy.
"Incredible! I graduated in '62 from St. Mary's, too! Let's have a
round for St. Mary's!" Once again, they suck down another round.
Just then, one of the bar regulars walks in and sits at the bar. He
asks the bartender, "So what's going on today?"
The bartender answers, "Nothing... The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Selfish Golfer
A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his
round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie the second. On the
third hole he had just scored his first ever hole in one when his cell
phone rang.
It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible
accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the
he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was
leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He
decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.
He ended up finishing all eighteen. He finished his round shooting a
personal best 61 shattering the club record by five strokes and beating
his previous best game by more than 10.
He was jubilant, then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed
to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about about
his wife's condition.
The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your
round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you
were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club
your wife has been languishing in the ICU! Its just as well you went
ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your
last! For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care.
And you'll be her care giver!"
The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.
The doctor started to snicker and said, "Just kidding! She died more
than two hours ago. What'd you shoot?"
Bad Student
A kid comes home from school and his mother asks him, "How was school
son?" He replies, "It wasn't good at all Mom, I had sex with my
teacher." She blows up and tells him to go immediately to his room. His
father comes home and walks into his room to find he is looking at some
porno mags and says to his son, "You had sex with your teacher son?" Kid
replies, "Yeah it wasn't good." The father says, "Well your only 14
years old and you have done a good job. We'll go tomorrow and get that
new bike you have always wanted." They go the next day and get the bike.
Then the father asks him, "Do you want to ride it home or just put it in
the back of the truck?" The kid replies, "I better just put it in the
back of the truck." They get into the truck and the father asks his son,
"So why didn't you wanna ride it home?" The son tells him, "Because Mr.
Green got me in the butt pretty hard yesterday."
A collection of the many different types of Penises
The Excedrin Penis - it's ttthhhiiisss big
The Snickers Penis - It satisfies your craving
The Magnovox Penis - Smart.Very smart.
The Life-Call Penis - It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis - Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis - How many licks DOES it take...?
The M&M Penis - Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
The Lucky Charms Penis - They are magically delicious.
The Energizer Penis - It keeps going and going.
The Right Guard Penis - Anything less is uncivilized.
The Campbell's Soup Penis - Mmmm Mmmm good
The McDonald's Penis - Over 8 billion served.
The Tombstone Penis - What would you like on yours?
The Ragu Penis - Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Cobain Penis - It blows itself away.
The All-State Penis - You're in good hands.
The 7-Up Penis - The un-penis.
The Bud Lite Penis - Great taste, less filling.
The Barq's Penis - The one with bite.
The Beef Penis - It's what's for dinner.
The Transformer Penis - It's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler Penis - It makes mouths happy.
The Sega Penis - PENIS!
The Starburst Penis - The juice is loose.
The Timex Penis - Takes a licking and keeps on...
The Burger King Penis - It takes two hands to handle a whopper.
The Flintstones' Vitamins Penis - 10 million strong and growing.
The Wendy's Penis - Where's the beef?
The Lay's Penis - Betcha can't eat just one.
The Little Caesar's Penis - Penis!Penis!
The Mortal Combat Penis - Nothing can prepare you.
The Bounty Penis - The quicker picker-upper.
The Street Fighter II Penis - Matt, stop, you are too good at this.
The Domino's Pizza Penis - Delivers in 30 minutes or less.
The Rice Krispies Penis - What does your penis say to you?
The Extra Penis - Lasts an extra, extra, extra long time.
The Charmin Penis - Don't squeeze the penis!
The Beatles Penis - Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Oasis Penis - Thinks it is the Beatles penis.
The Windows '95 Penis - If you ask it to do too much, it will crash.
The Virginia Slims Penis - You've come a long way, baby.
The Secret Penis - Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.
The Micro Machines Penis - A whole world, in the palm of your hand.
The Sanka Penis - Good to the last drop.
The Payday Penis - It's almost totally nuts!
The Yellow Pages Penis - Let your fingers do the walking.
The Reese's Penis - How do you eat your penis?
The Beavis Penis - Look!It's changing colours!
The Sustecal Penis - More protein, less fat.
The Just For Men Penis - A sure thing for a natural look.
The Milk Penis - It does a body good.
The Taco Bell Penis - It runs for the border.
The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Penis - It's the adult thing to do.
The AOL Penis - It's so easy to use, no wonder it is #1.
The Pontiac Penis - Built for kicks, built for keeps!
The Psychic Penis - It knows you are coming before you do.
The Pinocchio Penis - The longer you lie, the more it grows.
The AMTRAK Penis - All Aboard
The Wendy's Penis - Hot and juicy
The Visa Penis - It's everywhere you wanna be
The Baskins-Robbins Penis - 31 flavors.
The Molson Penis - An honest penis makes its own friends.
The Vampire Lestat Penis - Drink from me and live forever.
The Highlander Penis - There can be only one.
Men's Rules
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
11. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what
mauve is.
15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine .
. . . Really.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as football or tanks.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22.Every dish can be improved with bacon.
23.Do not trust a man who calls the bathroom "the little boys room."
24.Women who sound sexy on the phone weigh 350 pounds.
25.No talking at the urinal.
26.A man may own exactly one pair of holiday-themed boxers.
27.Never date a woman whose father calls her "princess."
28.A PBS tote bag does not make you an intellectual.
29.The weirder the cell phone ring, the more annoying the person.
30.Real men don't dance.
The Parrot & the Underwear
Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church
to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a
big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house,
the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.
One day, they heard, "Yellow, blue, black." One of the nuns noticed
that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She
mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were reluctant
to believe that could be possible.
The next day, they all wore black underwear and passed in front of the
house, and very precisely the parrot spoke, "Black, black, black."
Hearing that, the three nuns were astonished!!. One of the nuns spoke
up: "Girls, tomorrow we are going to trick that bird."
Saying that, she recommended that the next day, none of them should
wear any underwear under their vestments. Respecting their agreement,
next day they wore no underwear and proceeded to pass in front of the
parrot's house.
They peeked at the bird. At the beginning, the parrot looked a bit
puzzled. He swung back and forth on the cane he was perched on.
Then, after a while, the Parrot spoke, "Straight, Bald, Curly!"
Rules of Sex
~ Never have sex with a stranger unless you are stranger than them.
~ Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
~ Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
~ A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
~ It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
~ Don't say no, say maybe, say any old thing say come back in the spring but don't say no.
~ A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
~ Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
~ Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
~ Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant
Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - The last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could Immediately take the words back...
Or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word... He knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf
balls. I was unhappy with the woman's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and
said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm
just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I
saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying
my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven
month -old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked
to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I
kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?'
'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
the smell was getting worse. Soooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you
have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, Bent over,
spread his cheeks, & yelled, 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he
calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? We had a
female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and
didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they
were laughing so hard!
Going for IT!
Well Boys n Girls.....I'm going for it.....finally going to allow myself a bit of a vacation.....going to NB to visit my son....the odd thing is.....I'll be staying with him and his Mom...I know what you're thinking.....and you're right......that is a bit weird...to say the least! The thing is......if I didn't get to stay there.....the cost to find another place would be more than I could afford and would not be able to go.....strange how things work out huh?
Also, I was really lucky to get the time off work...just my luck.....I mean I've only been there 6 months and they let me take time off....that is sweet of them!
Also, I was really lucky to get the time off work...just my luck.....I mean I've only been there 6 months and they let me take time off....that is sweet of them!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Thursday's Post
I could not think of a good catch line to use....so we'll just stick with what's there. Sunday did not go off very well.....we missed each other...in hind sight I should have given her my cell number so that she could call me and let me know where she was....but......there's always next time isn't there?!
Work is good......however, I am starting to feel the stress building up...what I need is a few days off for a little R & R....I mean it has been over a year since I had any vacation....I just need a few days where I can totally relax...the last few months have been.......shall we say "Interesting".....now that is all behind me...I can focus, with a clear mind, on the future and what I'm going to do.
Had a lot on my mind lately.......you all remember that former coworker of mine......she's been on my mind.....I thought about asking her out for a coffee......but, chickened out.....what a Rube I am....I mean the worst thing she could say is no.....right?!....the only draw back would be that there would be this "Weirdness" between us...I mean we chat just about everyday....I think it would change things......I dunno....just wish I could get a sign or something that would tell me if she's interested in me.....sigh...just off in Never Neverland Boys n Girls....you know something.....I think it's best that I don't know how she feels......there are some things in life that are best left unknown.....someone once said....."Knowing things is vastly overrated"...LOL funny huh?
My DVD burner is acting up......did I tell you? Prolly not!....well that pisses me off...I have close to 20GB of movies and TV shows to burn and the dam thing keeps fucking it up.....the strange thing is.....it doesn't happen ALL the time...just enough to be annoying....might have to bite the bullet and spring for a new one....funny how these things just "Happen"....sigh....my insane rant for the day....wonder when the Simpsons comes back on?......been a fan for years...amazing how the show has changed over the years....still remember when it first came on......Cripes....that was back in 1989.....HOLY COWS Batman.....I am old!
Anywho.....gonna see if the burner will play nicely.
Ciao for now.
Work is good......however, I am starting to feel the stress building up...what I need is a few days off for a little R & R....I mean it has been over a year since I had any vacation....I just need a few days where I can totally relax...the last few months have been.......shall we say "Interesting".....now that is all behind me...I can focus, with a clear mind, on the future and what I'm going to do.
Had a lot on my mind lately.......you all remember that former coworker of mine......she's been on my mind.....I thought about asking her out for a coffee......but, chickened out.....what a Rube I am....I mean the worst thing she could say is no.....right?!....the only draw back would be that there would be this "Weirdness" between us...I mean we chat just about everyday....I think it would change things......I dunno....just wish I could get a sign or something that would tell me if she's interested in me.....sigh...just off in Never Neverland Boys n Girls....you know something.....I think it's best that I don't know how she feels......there are some things in life that are best left unknown.....someone once said....."Knowing things is vastly overrated"...LOL funny huh?
My DVD burner is acting up......did I tell you? Prolly not!....well that pisses me off...I have close to 20GB of movies and TV shows to burn and the dam thing keeps fucking it up.....the strange thing is.....it doesn't happen ALL the time...just enough to be annoying....might have to bite the bullet and spring for a new one....funny how these things just "Happen"....sigh....my insane rant for the day....wonder when the Simpsons comes back on?......been a fan for years...amazing how the show has changed over the years....still remember when it first came on......Cripes....that was back in 1989.....HOLY COWS Batman.....I am old!
Anywho.....gonna see if the burner will play nicely.
Ciao for now.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
6 Months
Well Boys n girls.....yesterday was 6 months since we split.....she's now living with her new BF, has been for sometime now...but that's a different story for another day...LOL. I thought it would be nice to mark this day with a few jokes....at her expense of course.....so without further ado....here they are:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head...
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not...
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face...
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Wow, I'm good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming...
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime...
HA!....Put a smile on my face. How about yours?
I suppose I should update you on the "Linda" situation.....if all goes well we're meeting for coffee on Sunday afternoon.....I must admit that I'm a bit nervous.....but I'm sure that will pass in time. There is part of me that thinks she's gonna back out.....but that's my little voice of reason...the one who for the most part keeps me out of trouble. Have no fear, I'll keep you in the Loop!
Ciao for now!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head...
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not...
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face...
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Wow, I'm good at telling lies!
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming...
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime...
HA!....Put a smile on my face. How about yours?
I suppose I should update you on the "Linda" situation.....if all goes well we're meeting for coffee on Sunday afternoon.....I must admit that I'm a bit nervous.....but I'm sure that will pass in time. There is part of me that thinks she's gonna back out.....but that's my little voice of reason...the one who for the most part keeps me out of trouble. Have no fear, I'll keep you in the Loop!
Ciao for now!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Hmmmmm! - Been over a week since I posted something
Well Boys n Girls........I think I'm bauck......bauck in the Snauck Pauck Groove!....LOL Well sir...that does take me back...or should I say BAUCK!...LOL For all of you who followed the old Blog ...you will get that reference....for those who didn't....well you're pretty much SOL!
I Emailed Linda this morning.....we're doing coffee on the weekend! I know this may not sound like a huge deal...but trust me it IS! We've been chatting a lot lately.....I just really wanted to meet her in person....she seems really nice...and...she thinks I'm a perfect Gentleman!
Now I know what some of you are thinking.....You! A Gentleman?!....Well Boys n Girls.....I turned over a new leaf...BIG SMILE!
Look I dunno if this is going to be Aces & Fireworks.....I'm just hoping for a new start on something....you know....it's been a while for me...I need this....if ever there was a time I needed some kind of reassurance that I still "Have It" then it's now.
From what I've gathered (and seen - wink wink) .......she's 40, 5'3, loves to go to the Gym, easy going, down to earth, great sense of humor, great smile, deep blue eyes.......sigh.....I just have to meet her! You would think that because she has two children it would freak me out...well it doesn't!...not in the least.
I was up and doing my morning walk this morning by 5:30am.....I was hoping that I might get some shots of the sun rising so that I could add a few shots to the Blog...but alas...no such luck....sun seemed to stay away like he's been up all night - Good Feeling..Thanks VF!
Tomorrow might be more promising.....you never know. It kind of sucks that Summer's really over and Winter's almost here.....Where did it go? What really happened? For those who know...I spent the Summer in a state of....well...out of my mind.....it's only now that things are starting to get back to normal...I'm just hoping that I can keep it together.....I think I've finally managed to put all that hatred where it belongs......in the "Black Hole"...far far away...never to be heard from ever ever again!
Hmmm....Strange thing is....Linda was supposed to be online by now.....wonder where she could be? Well, it's going for 11:00pm now.....told me in her email she'd be on by 10:30.....something must have come up.....besides, I can always send her an email in the morning. With a bit of luck I'll get a bit more sleep than I got last night.....cripes, I think I did 2 or maybe 3 hours..Tops! Not good when you have to have your wits about you!
Well...I think that about raps it up for tonight....have no fear Boys n Girls....I'll keep you in the loop as to what happens.
Ciao for Now!
I Emailed Linda this morning.....we're doing coffee on the weekend! I know this may not sound like a huge deal...but trust me it IS! We've been chatting a lot lately.....I just really wanted to meet her in person....she seems really nice...and...she thinks I'm a perfect Gentleman!
Now I know what some of you are thinking.....You! A Gentleman?!....Well Boys n Girls.....I turned over a new leaf...BIG SMILE!
Look I dunno if this is going to be Aces & Fireworks.....I'm just hoping for a new start on something....you know....it's been a while for me...I need this....if ever there was a time I needed some kind of reassurance that I still "Have It" then it's now.
From what I've gathered (and seen - wink wink) .......she's 40, 5'3, loves to go to the Gym, easy going, down to earth, great sense of humor, great smile, deep blue eyes.......sigh.....I just have to meet her! You would think that because she has two children it would freak me out...well it doesn't!...not in the least.
I was up and doing my morning walk this morning by 5:30am.....I was hoping that I might get some shots of the sun rising so that I could add a few shots to the Blog...but alas...no such luck....sun seemed to stay away like he's been up all night - Good Feeling..Thanks VF!
Tomorrow might be more promising.....you never know. It kind of sucks that Summer's really over and Winter's almost here.....Where did it go? What really happened? For those who know...I spent the Summer in a state of....well...out of my mind.....it's only now that things are starting to get back to normal...I'm just hoping that I can keep it together.....I think I've finally managed to put all that hatred where it belongs......in the "Black Hole"...far far away...never to be heard from ever ever again!
Hmmm....Strange thing is....Linda was supposed to be online by now.....wonder where she could be? Well, it's going for 11:00pm now.....told me in her email she'd be on by 10:30.....something must have come up.....besides, I can always send her an email in the morning. With a bit of luck I'll get a bit more sleep than I got last night.....cripes, I think I did 2 or maybe 3 hours..Tops! Not good when you have to have your wits about you!
Well...I think that about raps it up for tonight....have no fear Boys n Girls....I'll keep you in the loop as to what happens.
Ciao for Now!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Tuesday......Groaaaaaaan!
Well Boys n Girls.......almost time to start work for another week....just hoping that this week is more productive than the last one......did not get nearly as much done as I wanted to do.
As per usual, listening to Jack FM...LOL one of my guilty pleasures I guess....I just find that the local radio stations just don't play enough of the music I like...this station does....SO THERE!
Started doing the morning walk again.....sigh....need to get back into shape if I'm going to give the dating scene my full attention...LOL Started off with 40 minutes.....not sure what I'm going to do when it starts to snow....might have to do sit-ups or......GASP!!!....push-ups.
I got another reply from one of the dating sites I signed up for.....her name is Linda....and she's kinda cute LOL....well from what I saw anyway! I emailed her my MSN ID so maybe we can start chatting....you never know where it will lead.
As per usual, listening to Jack FM...LOL one of my guilty pleasures I guess....I just find that the local radio stations just don't play enough of the music I like...this station does....SO THERE!
Started doing the morning walk again.....sigh....need to get back into shape if I'm going to give the dating scene my full attention...LOL Started off with 40 minutes.....not sure what I'm going to do when it starts to snow....might have to do sit-ups or......GASP!!!....push-ups.
I got another reply from one of the dating sites I signed up for.....her name is Linda....and she's kinda cute LOL....well from what I saw anyway! I emailed her my MSN ID so maybe we can start chatting....you never know where it will lead.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Came and Went!
It's all over for another year....only next time I'll be turning the BIG 40.....then I'll be really depressed. As far as birthdays went, it was pretty good....got a few nice things LOL. The one thing that I wanted was to have someone there to share it with me....but alas.....it was not meant to be!
Another month has started....which means another chance to get it right.....sigh.....maybe this time will be the one...starting to cost me a fortune....in more ways than one!
I'll be back later!
Another month has started....which means another chance to get it right.....sigh.....maybe this time will be the one...starting to cost me a fortune....in more ways than one!
I'll be back later!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
3 days to go!
I can't imagine I waited this long to post something....shame on me...tsk tsk! Well in three days time I'll be 39...what a drag it is getting older! - Thanks MJ. No big plans....just going to take it easy I think.....there will of course be the usual obligatory dinner at my father's place...prolly something like Ham or Turkey.....would be nice to have BBQed steaks....but I digress.
Sigh...it's 6:20am....just waiting for my first tea of the day....used to be a time when all I drank was coffee.....I think tea is supposed to be better for you....something about not as much caffeine or something like that.
Thinking about going back to the "No Meat " thing.....I think my weight loss has leveled out...I don't seem to be losing any more...but then again I'm not really "Actively" going out of my way to lose any more either....LOL I'm comfortable with how I look now.....a lot better than the pile of Goo I was before.
Still single........sigh!!!! Not really searching for that either.....right now I just prefer it if I was alone...if it happens it happens......I'm still a bit tired and jaded of "relationships"
I'm concerned about something.......I have this feeling that when my probation is up in September.....I won't be asked to stay.....dunno what it is but I have a feeling that my performance will not be up to their standards.....I know it's silly but I do things like that....dwell on things that make no sense at all...I mean if I was lacking in areas that needed improvement....I'm sure I would have received some kind of direction before now....right!!?? One would think so.....I guess I'll know next month.....if worse comes to worse I don't know what I'll do.....I really can't afford to loose this job....fingers crossed Boys n Girls.
Sigh...it's 6:20am....just waiting for my first tea of the day....used to be a time when all I drank was coffee.....I think tea is supposed to be better for you....something about not as much caffeine or something like that.
Thinking about going back to the "No Meat " thing.....I think my weight loss has leveled out...I don't seem to be losing any more...but then again I'm not really "Actively" going out of my way to lose any more either....LOL I'm comfortable with how I look now.....a lot better than the pile of Goo I was before.
Still single........sigh!!!! Not really searching for that either.....right now I just prefer it if I was alone...if it happens it happens......I'm still a bit tired and jaded of "relationships"
I'm concerned about something.......I have this feeling that when my probation is up in September.....I won't be asked to stay.....dunno what it is but I have a feeling that my performance will not be up to their standards.....I know it's silly but I do things like that....dwell on things that make no sense at all...I mean if I was lacking in areas that needed improvement....I'm sure I would have received some kind of direction before now....right!!?? One would think so.....I guess I'll know next month.....if worse comes to worse I don't know what I'll do.....I really can't afford to loose this job....fingers crossed Boys n Girls.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Pete Townsend said it best.......
It was once written that "Friends will be friends...Nothing can change that....." Well Boys n Girls....it has been decided....I think it best that Jane and I just remain friends.....I did a lot of thinking this morning....I would imagine so did she....I got a call from her.....in a straight forward manner she just came right out and asked what I wanted.....I didn't beat around the bush...I said..."Right now I'm just looking for a Buddy, a Pal, some one I can shoot the shit with"...which is true...I just don't see myself in a relationship right now.......and I have no romantic feelings for her..I just didn't want to lead her on...I'm sure she can get her share of dates....I'm guessing that there was prolly some one else that wanted to ask her and she just wanted to see if there was anything between us first...I would have done the same thing...it's true! (We both agreed that it was pretty tasteless to date one than one person at a time.)
So now it's back to square one.....I'm just hoping that there is no weirdness between us....I mean it's not like there was a chance of anything happening.....I mean with our schedules....it would be next to impossible to find the time to let anything develop.....I thought we clicked on a lot of levels....except one....there was just no.....how shall I put this.....Physical Chemistry...if that makes any sense.....I hope it does...because that's the last I'm going to mention it.
So now it's back to square one.....I'm just hoping that there is no weirdness between us....I mean it's not like there was a chance of anything happening.....I mean with our schedules....it would be next to impossible to find the time to let anything develop.....I thought we clicked on a lot of levels....except one....there was just no.....how shall I put this.....Physical Chemistry...if that makes any sense.....I hope it does...because that's the last I'm going to mention it.
A Burger at 6:15 am?!...Really?!
I bet you're wondering about the title? Well yes I will admit that for breakfast....I had a burger....there I said it!...and you know what???.....it was delicious!
Well Boys n Girls...I'm back. Yesterday was very interesting....you see we went to Brigus....but we had a few stops on the way. Let me explain. Jane is a DJ....weddings, corporate events, birthdays...you get the picture....so she picks me up and the odd thing is there's no uneasy tension between us...none...very causal...so we hang out at her place for a light breakfast of Tea and Toast...have a Chit chat and what not...then it's decided that before we head off to Brigus to drop off 2 sets of wedding gear to the two guys she has working for her
...perhaps I should back up a bit. While there is lots of work in the DJ game...there's only so much one person can do...so...she has a couple of buddies that pick up the slack.....and on the rare occasion....gives her the chance to have a couple of days off....like yesterday!
Back to where I was....So we head to her storage locker and load up her Van....which in itself was no big deal...then off to two different hotels to drop off the gear.....almost felt like I was a Roadie...how strange was that?! I really can't explain it...there was no tension between us...not sure if that is a good thing or not....the kind of tension I was thing was...shall we say...the physical kind....you know what I'm talking about Boys n Girls...the Sexual kind....there was just nothing there....kinda like two buddies helping each other out....weird huh.
So anyway....let's fast forward....we're on the road heading to Brigus. Hands up who's ever been on a road trip?....Then you all know that on long trips or even short ones...with some one new....the silence can be awkward to say the least...right?!...Well I have to say that there was none of that...chatted the whole way there....of course the chat was interrupted every now and again by her Cell....seems like a good DJ is always in high demand....we talked on everything from our Exes, movies, favorite foods to singers with the worst voices....I guess the usual preliminary date questions...but the thing is...it did not really feel like a date....weird huh?....Dunno how to explain it.
A bit about Brigus...
Brigus stands at the forefront of Newfoundland's heritage settlements. The origin of the name Brigus is not known for sure. One theory has it coming from the town names of Brickhouse or Brighouse, in Yorkshire, England. Another has the name coming from the French word for intrigue or plot, Brigue. The town counts among its settlers, pioneers from England, Ireland and Wales. It was at one time one of the major sealing ports. In 1947, Brigus sent sixty-six vessels to the seal hunt and over half were captained by natives of Brigus.
The thing about Brigus is that in some areas you feel like time has remained unchanged....some of the houses look like they did 75-100 years ago.....anywho...on with the photos!
Now look at this one....can you imagine living in something that small...look how close to the edge of the cliff the house is?!...and that veranda....would NOT be on that thing with more than two people...LOL...still...I think is very nice.
This tunnel was blasted out of solid rock using.....get this...only gun powder....in those days access to dynamite was hard to come by.....took a crew 4 months to do it...main reason for it?....so that one of the leading Merchants could have improved access to his wharfs and stages.
Now I hope you don't laugh too hard at this one.....we honestly thought that this place was a restaurant....seriously!!....the door was open for all to see...there was a few people milling around enjoying drinks and nibbles....I was going to snap a shot of them inside...but I thought it kind of tacky...that and I have a rule about taking peoples photos without their permission.
There you go......right back to 1900....seems like things have not changed a bit.
Now as anywhere there are the rich and not so rich....rumor has it that the owner of this
"Summer Cottage and Guest House" had the area blasted out of the cliff just so that he could have enough land to build....and yes that is his Yacht. (Best to click on the picture for a better look)
Just a Sailboat moored in the Bay....wish I could have one. Hey Santa...if you're listening!!!
Just me Boys n Girls....you finally get to see the Blogger responsible for so very very many rants over the years....look at me...I'm smiling....well sort of! LOL
Nice Place huh?
This is Hawthorne Cottage. Check out this link for the history behind it. I don't really feel like going off on some History Lesson..School's out. http://www.historicsites.ca/hawthorne.html
So anyway......we spend a huge part of the day just walking around....taking in the sites and sounds of Brigus...I have to say I had a good time. Now the trip back was a bit of a laugh....seems we took a wrong turn or something.....because we ended up WAY off course...hehehe...never made it back until past 10:00 pm.
Well Boys n Girls...I'm back. Yesterday was very interesting....you see we went to Brigus....but we had a few stops on the way. Let me explain. Jane is a DJ....weddings, corporate events, birthdays...you get the picture....so she picks me up and the odd thing is there's no uneasy tension between us...none...very causal...so we hang out at her place for a light breakfast of Tea and Toast...have a Chit chat and what not...then it's decided that before we head off to Brigus to drop off 2 sets of wedding gear to the two guys she has working for her
...perhaps I should back up a bit. While there is lots of work in the DJ game...there's only so much one person can do...so...she has a couple of buddies that pick up the slack.....and on the rare occasion....gives her the chance to have a couple of days off....like yesterday!
Back to where I was....So we head to her storage locker and load up her Van....which in itself was no big deal...then off to two different hotels to drop off the gear.....almost felt like I was a Roadie...how strange was that?! I really can't explain it...there was no tension between us...not sure if that is a good thing or not....the kind of tension I was thing was...shall we say...the physical kind....you know what I'm talking about Boys n Girls...the Sexual kind....there was just nothing there....kinda like two buddies helping each other out....weird huh.
So anyway....let's fast forward....we're on the road heading to Brigus. Hands up who's ever been on a road trip?....Then you all know that on long trips or even short ones...with some one new....the silence can be awkward to say the least...right?!...Well I have to say that there was none of that...chatted the whole way there....of course the chat was interrupted every now and again by her Cell....seems like a good DJ is always in high demand....we talked on everything from our Exes, movies, favorite foods to singers with the worst voices....I guess the usual preliminary date questions...but the thing is...it did not really feel like a date....weird huh?....Dunno how to explain it.
A bit about Brigus...
Brigus stands at the forefront of Newfoundland's heritage settlements. The origin of the name Brigus is not known for sure. One theory has it coming from the town names of Brickhouse or Brighouse, in Yorkshire, England. Another has the name coming from the French word for intrigue or plot, Brigue. The town counts among its settlers, pioneers from England, Ireland and Wales. It was at one time one of the major sealing ports. In 1947, Brigus sent sixty-six vessels to the seal hunt and over half were captained by natives of Brigus.
The thing about Brigus is that in some areas you feel like time has remained unchanged....some of the houses look like they did 75-100 years ago.....anywho...on with the photos!
Now look at this one....can you imagine living in something that small...look how close to the edge of the cliff the house is?!...and that veranda....would NOT be on that thing with more than two people...LOL...still...I think is very nice.
This tunnel was blasted out of solid rock using.....get this...only gun powder....in those days access to dynamite was hard to come by.....took a crew 4 months to do it...main reason for it?....so that one of the leading Merchants could have improved access to his wharfs and stages.
Now I hope you don't laugh too hard at this one.....we honestly thought that this place was a restaurant....seriously!!....the door was open for all to see...there was a few people milling around enjoying drinks and nibbles....I was going to snap a shot of them inside...but I thought it kind of tacky...that and I have a rule about taking peoples photos without their permission.
There you go......right back to 1900....seems like things have not changed a bit.
Now as anywhere there are the rich and not so rich....rumor has it that the owner of this
"Summer Cottage and Guest House" had the area blasted out of the cliff just so that he could have enough land to build....and yes that is his Yacht. (Best to click on the picture for a better look)
Just a Sailboat moored in the Bay....wish I could have one. Hey Santa...if you're listening!!!
Just me Boys n Girls....you finally get to see the Blogger responsible for so very very many rants over the years....look at me...I'm smiling....well sort of! LOL
Nice Place huh?
This is Hawthorne Cottage. Check out this link for the history behind it. I don't really feel like going off on some History Lesson..School's out. http://www.historicsites.ca/hawthorne.html
So anyway......we spend a huge part of the day just walking around....taking in the sites and sounds of Brigus...I have to say I had a good time. Now the trip back was a bit of a laugh....seems we took a wrong turn or something.....because we ended up WAY off course...hehehe...never made it back until past 10:00 pm.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ahhh Friday!
What to talk about? I'm bored to tears....only had a half day at work today so that was pretty good. Just listening to a few tunes and of course doing the Blogging thing for all you happy little Rabbits. I was chatting with a former co-worker today...seems it's Splitsville between her and her BF....did my best to offer some sage advice...dunno how much of it she's gonna listen to...but I hope she takes it.
Now I know what all you Boys and Girls are thinking.....I do! You're thinking that maybe I have "Other" motives for trying to help out?! Well.........I wish I could say that you were all wrong....a part of me would like to try and get a date with her......she's younger and hotter than than you know "who"...LOL. You know......it would do wonders for my ego to be seen on the arm of a 26 year old....but I'd give her 24...hehehe. She is sweet but I don't think she would be interested in an old Dinosaur like me.....true we chat just about every day...on all subjects....but I think more than anything she just wants a proverbial shoulder to cry on...who knows...maybe she's too shy to come out and ask!.....but then again...I think it's just more of a "Friend" thing that and I'm too old...LOL
Jane and I are going on a second date...well if you can call it a date...right now I'm not really sure I can call it a date...that's right Boys n Girls...you heard right! If all goes well we're heading to a little spot called Brigus for a day trip...while I've never been there she has and swears by the place...should be interesting to say the least. I still haven't figured out how this relationship is going to work out...it's true...I have spent too much time out of the game that all my senses are old and out dated....I need a major upgrade! Now given that we talk on the phone just about every night...for at least an hour....on every conceivable subject under the sun...makes me think that we might have a little "Something"...now where that special "Something" is headed I really really really don't know.....it's frustrating to say the least. More on this as it develops.
The strangest thing happened today. I know what you're thinking.....Just don't sit there and keep us in suspense...TELL US!! Well Boys n Girls....it's like this.....I had that "Notion" again...For all you who used to read the old Blog...you'll know what I'm talking about....you know the one where I run off to start a new life in Ontario....Sigh....is that sad or what? I thought after "She" left that the dream would die.....I guess it's true that dreams never die....just the dreamer. ...(Eagles) I really can't say what prompted such a strange thought...it was like one minute I was working away then I had a memory of me driving down the 401 or was it the 400....well it was one of them...from New Market to Vaughan...then that feeling came back to me...it was weird...what was even weirder was that "She" wasn't there...LOL....just checked Map Quest...it was the 400...mystery solved!
So what would be so bad about going.....there's nothing really keeping me here is there? it kinda pisses me off that I didn't take off earlier in my life....but with me getting close to 40....it would be really hard to start things all over again...what I SHOULD have done was take off to Ontario when I was 20 or 21.....that way I could have had years to build something there.....but I guess we all have regrets....that's mine...what's yours?
I dunno Boys n Girls......sometimes I just get these notions in my head.....it's all part of who I am...after all, I can't be anyone else...LOL
Freddie Mercury once said....and I quote....."You can be anything you want to be...Just turn yourself into anything you think you could ever be"
Pretty deep stuff huh?
Interesting Craig fact # 348: For a while there I did the whole no meat thing.....stayed with that for about 4 months....now I'm not sure if it was that move that made me loose a bunch of weight or the fact that I was more active....well I have to say that I'm back on the meat..hehehe...to be honest....I missed it! I still have some reservations about picking up on the bacon, eggs and cheese...but right now I see nothing wrong with a Burger now and again...now mind you I still like the diet I was on....I won't give that up...I developed quite a taste for seafood, veggie burgers and avocado wraps...so they're pretty much staying on the menu.
It just dawned on me that this would be a great time for a song.....ELO..Hold on Tight....You all know the Lyrics.....let's have a sing along.....and a 1 and a 2......
Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see your ship go sailing
When you feel your heart is breaking
Hold tight to your dream.
Its a long time to be gone
Time just rolls on and on
When you need a shoulder to cry on
When you get so sick of trying
Just hold tight to your dream
Chorus:
When you get so down that you cant get up
And you want so much but you're all out of luck
When you're so downhearted and misunderstood
Just over & over & over you could
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Quand tu vois ton bateau partir
Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser
Accroches-toi a ton reve.
Repeat chorus:
Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see the shadows falling
When you hear that cold wind calling
Hold on tight to your dream.
Oh, yeah
Hold on tight to your dream
Yeah, hold on tight...
To your dream.
Must run Boys n Girls......just picked up a new book at the .....Book.......wait for it.........Store....yeah I know what you're thinking.....I watch WAY too much " How I Met Your Mother "....well you're all right! I might add another entry tonight...I dunno....see what happens..later!
Now I know what all you Boys and Girls are thinking.....I do! You're thinking that maybe I have "Other" motives for trying to help out?! Well.........I wish I could say that you were all wrong....a part of me would like to try and get a date with her......she's younger and hotter than than you know "who"...LOL. You know......it would do wonders for my ego to be seen on the arm of a 26 year old....but I'd give her 24...hehehe. She is sweet but I don't think she would be interested in an old Dinosaur like me.....true we chat just about every day...on all subjects....but I think more than anything she just wants a proverbial shoulder to cry on...who knows...maybe she's too shy to come out and ask!.....but then again...I think it's just more of a "Friend" thing that and I'm too old...LOL
Jane and I are going on a second date...well if you can call it a date...right now I'm not really sure I can call it a date...that's right Boys n Girls...you heard right! If all goes well we're heading to a little spot called Brigus for a day trip...while I've never been there she has and swears by the place...should be interesting to say the least. I still haven't figured out how this relationship is going to work out...it's true...I have spent too much time out of the game that all my senses are old and out dated....I need a major upgrade! Now given that we talk on the phone just about every night...for at least an hour....on every conceivable subject under the sun...makes me think that we might have a little "Something"...now where that special "Something" is headed I really really really don't know.....it's frustrating to say the least. More on this as it develops.
The strangest thing happened today. I know what you're thinking.....Just don't sit there and keep us in suspense...TELL US!! Well Boys n Girls....it's like this.....I had that "Notion" again...For all you who used to read the old Blog...you'll know what I'm talking about....you know the one where I run off to start a new life in Ontario....Sigh....is that sad or what? I thought after "She" left that the dream would die.....I guess it's true that dreams never die....just the dreamer. ...(Eagles) I really can't say what prompted such a strange thought...it was like one minute I was working away then I had a memory of me driving down the 401 or was it the 400....well it was one of them...from New Market to Vaughan...then that feeling came back to me...it was weird...what was even weirder was that "She" wasn't there...LOL....just checked Map Quest...it was the 400...mystery solved!
So what would be so bad about going.....there's nothing really keeping me here is there? it kinda pisses me off that I didn't take off earlier in my life....but with me getting close to 40....it would be really hard to start things all over again...what I SHOULD have done was take off to Ontario when I was 20 or 21.....that way I could have had years to build something there.....but I guess we all have regrets....that's mine...what's yours?
I dunno Boys n Girls......sometimes I just get these notions in my head.....it's all part of who I am...after all, I can't be anyone else...LOL
Freddie Mercury once said....and I quote....."You can be anything you want to be...Just turn yourself into anything you think you could ever be"
Pretty deep stuff huh?
Interesting Craig fact # 348: For a while there I did the whole no meat thing.....stayed with that for about 4 months....now I'm not sure if it was that move that made me loose a bunch of weight or the fact that I was more active....well I have to say that I'm back on the meat..hehehe...to be honest....I missed it! I still have some reservations about picking up on the bacon, eggs and cheese...but right now I see nothing wrong with a Burger now and again...now mind you I still like the diet I was on....I won't give that up...I developed quite a taste for seafood, veggie burgers and avocado wraps...so they're pretty much staying on the menu.
It just dawned on me that this would be a great time for a song.....ELO..Hold on Tight....You all know the Lyrics.....let's have a sing along.....and a 1 and a 2......
Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see your ship go sailing
When you feel your heart is breaking
Hold tight to your dream.
Its a long time to be gone
Time just rolls on and on
When you need a shoulder to cry on
When you get so sick of trying
Just hold tight to your dream
Chorus:
When you get so down that you cant get up
And you want so much but you're all out of luck
When you're so downhearted and misunderstood
Just over & over & over you could
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Quand tu vois ton bateau partir
Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser
Accroches-toi a ton reve.
Repeat chorus:
Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see the shadows falling
When you hear that cold wind calling
Hold on tight to your dream.
Oh, yeah
Hold on tight to your dream
Yeah, hold on tight...
To your dream.
Must run Boys n Girls......just picked up a new book at the .....Book.......wait for it.........Store....yeah I know what you're thinking.....I watch WAY too much " How I Met Your Mother "....well you're all right! I might add another entry tonight...I dunno....see what happens..later!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Well Boys n Girls....I'm back again......Some one new in my life....Her Name is Jane.....we met online! How charming is that? It's still too early to say where it will go....but the trip is half the fun isn't it!? In case you're all wondering.....and I know you are...Work is great....think I'm finding my place in there...let's just hope that after my probation is up....they keep me on!
Every now and then I think about.....well you know who......can't be helped.......we spent a lot of years together.....I know what you're thinking......just move on Craig......that's easier said than done....there are just going to be days where you think back......and wonder where it all went wrong! You know something?.......If it's meant to be it will......if it takes 12 years or longer to find your soul mate then that's what it's going to take.....so I guess I'd better start looking.
So let me tell you about Jane....We actually met sometime ago....at my brother's wedding...she was the DJ!.....Who would have thunk it?....she's great to talk to, nice personality, nice eyes....that's one of the things I first noticed about her....our first date was brunch......it went well because we're still talking...LOL....but the odd thing is....we haven't even kissed yet!....Is that weird? Maybe she's saving it for the second...LOL! She did tell me that she was a bit old fashioned.....I think it's kinda cute...I think I've forgotten how to kiss......I dread it the time ever comes that we take it to a "Physical" level......that just terrifies me.....I am SO out of practice when it comes to that! I guess it's a bit like riding a bike......you never forget how!
Almost midnight and I'm still up......not sure why......just can't seem to fall asleep.....always a lot going on upstairs in my mind.....never can seem to relax and enjoy some silence....I suppose I'd better learn huh?
I thought about running away.....yeah I was.....thought about packing it all in and heading back to Ontario....there was a fellow I worked with..Nice enough guy....I was going to see if I could crash with him until I got on my feet......but I chickened out! I discovered I have a cousin in Hamilton....have not even met.....How crazy is that? maybe some things happen for a reason!...There's a saying that every cloud has a silver lining....some days I wonder.....when I'm going to get the silver out of this one...LOL
Every now and then I think about.....well you know who......can't be helped.......we spent a lot of years together.....I know what you're thinking......just move on Craig......that's easier said than done....there are just going to be days where you think back......and wonder where it all went wrong! You know something?.......If it's meant to be it will......if it takes 12 years or longer to find your soul mate then that's what it's going to take.....so I guess I'd better start looking.
So let me tell you about Jane....We actually met sometime ago....at my brother's wedding...she was the DJ!.....Who would have thunk it?....she's great to talk to, nice personality, nice eyes....that's one of the things I first noticed about her....our first date was brunch......it went well because we're still talking...LOL....but the odd thing is....we haven't even kissed yet!....Is that weird? Maybe she's saving it for the second...LOL! She did tell me that she was a bit old fashioned.....I think it's kinda cute...I think I've forgotten how to kiss......I dread it the time ever comes that we take it to a "Physical" level......that just terrifies me.....I am SO out of practice when it comes to that! I guess it's a bit like riding a bike......you never forget how!
Almost midnight and I'm still up......not sure why......just can't seem to fall asleep.....always a lot going on upstairs in my mind.....never can seem to relax and enjoy some silence....I suppose I'd better learn huh?
I thought about running away.....yeah I was.....thought about packing it all in and heading back to Ontario....there was a fellow I worked with..Nice enough guy....I was going to see if I could crash with him until I got on my feet......but I chickened out! I discovered I have a cousin in Hamilton....have not even met.....How crazy is that? maybe some things happen for a reason!...There's a saying that every cloud has a silver lining....some days I wonder.....when I'm going to get the silver out of this one...LOL
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Rock n Roll is King!
Listening to ELO right now......that brings back some memories....anyone else? I don't have a lot to talk about tonight Boys n Girls....kinda tired really....just got back from my nightly stroll. I find that if I need to get out and be with my thoughts then this is the best way..the other alternative was prolly hit the bottle....but that does not solve anything now does it?
Now some of you might remember my battle with my weight....well I'm pleased to say that after almost 5 months I've lost close to 44 pounds...which I'm very proud of......just a few more to go before I get back to what I once was...being over 230 is not nice...trust me....if you are...go on a diet...your body will thank you!
Now some of you might remember my battle with my weight....well I'm pleased to say that after almost 5 months I've lost close to 44 pounds...which I'm very proud of......just a few more to go before I get back to what I once was...being over 230 is not nice...trust me....if you are...go on a diet...your body will thank you!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Just Thinking.....
Found this great song......well I didn't actually " Find " it....I heard it on How I met your Mother...It's by the Violent Femmes - Good Feeling....go and listen to it right now! You'll like it...I guarantee it!
Just relaxing......nice night for a walk...nice and warm out there - I supposed I should enjoy it now....in a couple of months it'll cold enough to freeze the nuts off a brass monkey!
Tomorrow is Friday....which means the weekend is just around the corner...WooHoo! I might treat myself to some fresh Salmon or Trout......those who know my last Blog know the struggle I had with my weight......so I'm pleased to say that so far I've dropped 43.5 LBS since March 12 of this year (Well Duh!)...still a few more to go.
Just relaxing......nice night for a walk...nice and warm out there - I supposed I should enjoy it now....in a couple of months it'll cold enough to freeze the nuts off a brass monkey!
Tomorrow is Friday....which means the weekend is just around the corner...WooHoo! I might treat myself to some fresh Salmon or Trout......those who know my last Blog know the struggle I had with my weight......so I'm pleased to say that so far I've dropped 43.5 LBS since March 12 of this year (Well Duh!)...still a few more to go.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The Dating Life....it SUCKS!
You know something? There are far too many Rubes out there on the dating scene.....it's true! Seems to me that I'm a magnet for these women....sigh...WHY!? I'm starting to think that I may never find that special lady....it's not like I'm very picky.....I just have a few simple guide lines.
1.) She has to be able to hold a conversation, at the very least on current events and have some input on other issues, whether they be on gun control, favorite author, war, religion (or lack there of)....you see where I'm going with this?
2.) Cooking, she has to know how to cook. I like to cook a wide variety of foods - if she burns water, then I'm sorry, but bu-BYE!
3.) Nice smile! Nuff said there
4.) Sense of humor. I love a woman who knows how to laugh, it could be over something silly (I did) or a comedy...Uptight and Stoic need not apply
5.) Body Type! Well I know that this would prolly offend some people, but, I do like a woman with a bit of meat on her bones....now I don't do the obese thing but curvy is a definite plus. Women who do the binge and puke thing....you're just wasting my time.
Now I know it seems like a lot but I'm sure there are women who fit this mold...I just have to find them....but living on a rock in the middle of the Atlantic.....the choice to choose is somewhat limited...LOL....Just Kidding. Those who remember the old Blog will get that one!
You know an old friend once said to me......" Craig, there are just 3 things to look for in a woman..she has to be a Cook in the Kitchen, a Lady in the Living room and a Slut in the bedroom! " call it what you will.....but he was right.
1.) She has to be able to hold a conversation, at the very least on current events and have some input on other issues, whether they be on gun control, favorite author, war, religion (or lack there of)....you see where I'm going with this?
2.) Cooking, she has to know how to cook. I like to cook a wide variety of foods - if she burns water, then I'm sorry, but bu-BYE!
3.) Nice smile! Nuff said there
4.) Sense of humor. I love a woman who knows how to laugh, it could be over something silly (I did) or a comedy...Uptight and Stoic need not apply
5.) Body Type! Well I know that this would prolly offend some people, but, I do like a woman with a bit of meat on her bones....now I don't do the obese thing but curvy is a definite plus. Women who do the binge and puke thing....you're just wasting my time.
Now I know it seems like a lot but I'm sure there are women who fit this mold...I just have to find them....but living on a rock in the middle of the Atlantic.....the choice to choose is somewhat limited...LOL....Just Kidding. Those who remember the old Blog will get that one!
You know an old friend once said to me......" Craig, there are just 3 things to look for in a woman..she has to be a Cook in the Kitchen, a Lady in the Living room and a Slut in the bedroom! " call it what you will.....but he was right.
Been a While
Okay Boys and Girls.....after a period of self imposed isolation where I clearly went out of my mind...I'm back with a new outlook on life and a new Blog. For those who remember my rantings will know that after my break-up I was left very bitter....but all that has changed and I'm feeling much better now...LOL
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